15 Positive Signs That Paolo From Trivium Is King Of The Internet

Posted: March 25, 2014 in Metalhammer
Tags: , ,

Paolo being a badass on stage

Last month we hosted our first annual Moshcas, and you may have noticed that Trivium’s own Paolo Gregoletto picked up a particularly worthy gong.

So, we thought we’d give you an insight into why. Not only is his Instagram full of some of the best cat and beer pictures on the web, but his Twitter is full of LOLs and you could do far worse than following him. Don’t believe us? Have a look below and see why Paolo is an internet hero.

1. He knows precisely how to make the most metal song ever more metal! If your next single doesn’t include the Bean Fart or Murder At Quarry sound bite then you’re doing it wrong.

2. He supports local independent businesses. Yeah sure, you could go to the dog wash the corporations pour down your throats, or you could visit the weird man with the sign. Your call.

3. His cat Mr Brown (winner of Best Metal Pet at the Moshcas) has his own t-shirt that is cooler than most band merch. A pentagram, a massive cat face and a distressed font – what’s not to love?

4. Despite the fact it’s March, Mr Brown is already ready for festival season and couldn’t look happier about being in simultaneously the best and worst tent of all time.

5. Another one of Mr Brown (because let’s face it, he’s the most metal cat on the internet), but in a setting better than most of our family portraits. Look how bloody nice this photo is! Paolo if you’re reading, can you come take a team photo?

6. His taste in beer is impeccable. Seriously, if you have a scroll through his Instagram then look inside your fridge you will start crying. That lonely can of Carling from last weekend pales in comparison to Paolo’s beery prowess.

7. He doesn’t show off how much money he has or milk the jet set lifestyle. Motherflippin’ economy class brah! Being in a massive metal band isn’t all glitz and glamour, you know? (We bet it is).

8. While away on tour Paolo can’t resist keeping in touch with the most important person in his life – Mr Brown. If your pet doesn’t FaceTime you while you’re away then it probably hates you and that’s why it pooped in your best trainers.

9. Not just beer, Paolo is an aficionado of many exciting drinks – just look at this! We’ve no idea what it is, or what’s floating in it (a snot lizard turtle?), but we can almost guarantee it tastes incredible. We’re not jealous. Honest.

10. And of course he only reads the best magazines. Just look at this bad boy from the 80s, who’d have thought Ozzy would still be tearing the world a new one in 2014? Kudos for keeping hold of this Paolo!

11. Not only is Mr Brown the number one most metal animal on the planet (apologies to direwolves everywhere), but he’s got some big name fans too – like Matt Heafy! Note to budding animal proteges out there, if you want to conquer the world make friends with a globally-famous metal band.

12. So this might be the best photo of any band on the internet. Trivium and Killswitch Engage sharing a pizza – which is pretty awesome on it’s own, but Adam D has bananas on his head. Nope, us neither.

13. If you queue they will come… or something like that. Not content with slaying on stage for 90 minutes a night, Paolo and Matt headed out to meet the dedicated fans who had been queueing for hours in the cold. Shout out to the guy with the bad-ass beard.

14. On a scale 1 to Mr Brown, how much swag does your cat have? We’ve never met your cat but there’s no way your furry friend can touch this feline gangsta.

15. Never one to miss out on the local culture, Paolo got fully immersed in the the Japanese custom of erm… dressing like a giant pig in an apron? That must be a thing, right?

If you don’t follow Paolo on Instagram or Twitter then rectify this now. Don’t follow him in real life, though otherwise Mr Brown will claw your skin off. Trust us.

Trivium play Download in June.

from Metal Hammer http://www.metalhammer.co.uk/news/15-positive-signs-that-paolo-from-trivium-is-king-of-the-internet/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=15-positive-signs-that-paolo-from-trivium-is-king-of-the-internet
via Merlin

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